Finding Balance in the Season of Grief and Acceptance

Caregiving is not just about physical support; it also demands emotional strength. Many caregivers experience what my friend called the "season of grief." Certain months revives deep feelings linked to significant life events. For example, October is crucial for me because it marks when Wyatt was diagnosed with Duchenne muscular dystrophy (DMD) in 2007. Similarly, April signifies the tough memory of when he lost his ability to walk in 2022. These moments remind me of the ongoing challenges we face, often unexpectedly stirring emotions that I may not have been aware of.

As a caregiver, it is easy to lose sight of my own needs. The last few weeks have been particularly hectic for me, filled with responsibilities that consumed my time. However, taking a moment to reconnect with my feelings emphasized the importance of self-care, especially during significant changes for both Wyatt and me.

The Healing Power of Connection

In early April, I was fortunate to attend a retreat with other moms of children with Duchenne muscular dystrophy. This experience was a breath of fresh air. Engaging in conversations with 15 women who truly understood the emotional burden of caregiving helped remind me I am not alone in my struggles.

This retreat rekindled my spirit and emphasized that while I am a caregiver, it is just as important to take care of myself. Many mothers find it difficult to put their needs above those of their loved ones, often feeling that self-care is selfish. But it's essential to remember that my well-being directly impacts the quality of care I provide Wyatt on a daily basis.

Recognizing the Season of Grief

This April not only marks another "season of grief" for me, but it also coincides with Wyatt's transition out of school, a change filled with mixed emotions. While I don't mourn the end of the school stress, I find myself grieving the loss of his childhood. As we near the end of this school year, the anticipation of what lies ahead brings me both excitement and anxiety.

Change is intimidating for both Wyatt and me. It pushes me to learn how to support him while giving him space to grow. Although he can't do many things on his own, I am beginning to understand that he can do more than I realize. This phase is an opportunity for both of us to explore new ways of of navigating life together. It means building friendships and shared moments, and strengthening his connections beyond just parental support.

So, as we enter this transitional phase in Wyatt’s life, I feel a mix of hope and caution. At this juncture, there will definitely be challenges, but also times for growth for both of us.

My role should not center on controlling every aspect of Wyatt's life but rather on guiding him as he discovers his own path post high school.

Finding balance during this complex journey of caregiving during grief takes time. It calls for patience, self-awareness, and the courage to lean on others when needed.

While the "season of grief" feels heavy, it also presents an opportunity for me to reflect and grow. The key is to take one step at a time, embrace both joy and sorrow while staying open to the love and support surrounding us.

As I ready myself for the upcoming changes in Wyatt’s life, I carry forward the strength I found at the retreat and the love of my family and friends, remembering change can be beautiful even when it seems overwhelming.